Is It Wrong for Me to Fantasize About Children?

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Fantasy is not the same as a crime. There is a difference between thinking about things that are illegal in real life versus actually doing those things.

We strongly believe that seeking sexual activity with children, online or offline, is wrong. We are also against the use of sexual material featuring real children.

Fantasy is different to both of those, and whether you should indulge in it or not depends on the effect it has on you.

Attraction to children is not a voluntary choice, but whether to fantasize is. Most straight people don’t usually have to think about this difference, but pedophiles do. Many people say that even having a fantasy about a child is wrong. It makes us stop and think about what is the right moral choice.

Some people simply believe all sexual fantasy and masturbation is wrong, whether it’s about children or not. If you’re one of those people, you will find it hard to accept fantasy and masturbation as a suitable outlet. Some pedophiles say this is their view and that they feel better avoiding both.

Some pedophiles feel that fantasizing about children makes it more likely they will engage in inappropriate or illegal behavior. Some of them say this happens especially if it’s about a specific child they know in real life. It’s very difficult to know whether their fantasies are the cause of their behavior, but out of caution they tend to avoid such fantasies if they can.

Many people have the mistaken view that fantasy affects every pedophile this way.

Many pedophiles who have never tried to have sexual activity with a child tell us that they have masturbated while thinking of children over many years, but it has never made them fear that it might lead into something else. This is true of us, the authors of this website.

For us, fantasizing about children is on the same level as playing a video game or writing a horror story. What we do in the game is not something we would do in real life. What we write about in a story isn’t what we would actually do, because we understand the difference between fantasy and reality.

We believe all these experiences and beliefs are valid, and we don’t disbelieve people’s experiences because they don’t fit what we already think.

We also don’t judge thoughts as wrong. We only consider whether thinking a thought could lead to harm in the real world.

If you find it hard to regulate your behavior, and fantasy makes it worse, it makes sense to find a different coping strategy.

If you fantasize and never offend, and if the fantasies bring you some joy or consolation in life, we see no reason to tell you to stop. It’s difficult enough being a happy pedophile in this world, after all.