I Am an Adult Pedophile

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Don’t panic. You are a pedophile, but it’s only a part of who you are. You are not alone. There are a lot of people like you who have this attraction and still go on to live satisfying lives and never try to seek sexual activity with a child.

Your attraction does not make you a bad person, and you did not choose to be a pedophile either. You might be just realizing this, or you’ve known for years at this point.

What’s important now is that you’ve found a place for guidance, support, resources, therapy (if you want it) and a chance to hear about others’ experiences. You may be surprised by what you learn.

VirPed is about peer support. We are not professionals and we don’t give professional advice. We do know how you feel, though.

Our forum is a peer-support community. We help pedophiles anonymously and honestly discuss their experiences and feelings. We don’t allow image sharing, justification of adult-child sexual contact or encouragement of illegal behavior. Moderators enforce these rules. All posts are written in English.

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Pedophiles are not all the same. Many people believe that pedophiles are attracted to any child of any age or gender. But you likely have preferences and are attracted only to a minority of children you might see.

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Unlike other people, pedophiles naturally experience some positive feelings about the idea of adult-child sex. We don’t have other people’s inbuilt revulsion toward the idea. That means we have to make our own moral judgment, staying aware of biases.

Pedophiles often realize that:

  • society’s disgust for pedophilia and pedophiles is not a good basis for moral decisions
  • pedophiles’ enthusiasm for ideas of adult-child sex is also not a good basis for moral decisions

If you are wondering how we came to the conclusion that adult-child sex and exploitation is wrong, even while we reject stigma against pedophiles, read on for our main reasons.

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People often say ‘Get help!’ to pedophiles. When we started this website, there were very few therapists openly advertising they would work with pedophiles. That has changed… but not completely.

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Coming out is not a decision to take lightly. Because of general misunderstanding about who pedophiles are, coming out could be dangerous.

We have talked to many pedophiles who came out to members of their families or to close friends and have found understanding. If done carefully, this can be successful.

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Many people fear that pedophiles talking to each other online will only encourage illegal behavior. This can happen. But you can stay entirely away from that if you choose the right spaces and the right pedophiles. Talking to other pedophiles can tackle loneliness, provide information and even make life more worth living.

Most pedophiles start out afraid of understanding our own feelings, even if deep down we are very curious about what we are. Talking to other people like us, or talking about our feelings, though terrifying, is also hugely rewarding.

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The short answer is that nobody knows how this could be achieved.

Many people wish they knew how, or believe that it’s possible – but wishes and beliefs aren’t enough to change reality.

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Unfortunately, we hear this a lot. We have sometimes felt this way ourselves, too.

Thoughts of suicide are common among pedophiles and we have heard many sad tales of completed suicides. If you are a pedophile who is feeling suicidal, contact an organization like ASAP International .

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Many people imagine that pedophiles and children must exist in separate worlds and that when children meet pedophiles it can only be an abusive situation.

In reality, most pedophiles have frequently met and interacted with children in a completely normal way. We are not even attracted to most of these children.

Children in a pedophile’s life include siblings, nieces and nephews, and family friends. It includes interactions via a job or volunteering. Some pedophiles are parents and have their own children.

Because our sexual attractions are not usually known to anyone else, pedophiles negotiate these situations alone: sometimes with confidence and complete integrity; sometimes with more doubt; sometimes badly. We normally negotiate it without a source of advice.

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There is a range of ways that pedophiles deal with their attraction and seek sexual outlets. Some of these are more problematic than others. Some have no harmful effects; some can get unhealthy; quite a few are illegal. If you’re worried about doing something wrong, find some more guidance in this section.

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Short answer: Yes, we think you can.

We at Virtuous Pedophiles say that being virtuous doesn’t mean we think we’re better than the average person, just that we’re not worse.

To be a virtuous pedophile, you have to understand that adult-child sex is wrong and be committed to never sexually offending against children or exploiting them. If you are, you’re a virtuous pedophile, according to us. We discourage illegal behavior, and we do not condone watching illegal material.

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Fantasy is not the same as a crime. There is a difference between thinking about things that are illegal in real life versus actually doing those things.

We strongly believe that seeking sexual activity with children, online or offline, is wrong. We are also against the use of sexual material featuring real children.

Fantasy is different to both of those, and whether you should indulge in it or not depends on the effect it has on you.

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