VirPed Panel: 25 February 2024

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  • VirPed Panel: 25 February 2024


The below are answers given by selected members of the VirPed forum who are all pedophiles. They are speaking for themselves and not for the organization.

“Anonymous YouTuber” asks:

How has being part of Virped or any other pedophile based support group helped you out, if at all?

It has helped me accept myself as a MAP. I still struggle a lot with self-acceptance and being positive about this aspect of myself, but having a community helps. The community also helps me on the straight and narrow because I have a whole group of people I’d disappoint if I veered off the path. I’m overall very grateful for having a community behind me.

Two things. First, I’m not lonely anymore. Being a MAP was an incredibly isolating experience before VirPed. Second, I’ve found a lot of really good advice on how to live life as a MAP.

I am so much better off for having found this place. VirPed means the world to me.

I joined Virped after begrudgingly accepting my minor attraction (I told myself I would accept it like a cancer diagnosis). So I didn’t join in crisis or even hating myself exactly. I was looking to dip my toe into talking to other NOMAPs, but I was wary. I was afraid someone would try to get me to do or view something unethical. While there were some surprises about how people cope with their attractions, my fears were unfounded. I have found supporting other people with their issues surrounding minor attraction to be fulfilling and rewarding. I simultaneously don’t want anyone else to experience the depths of shame and self-loathing that I did for decades, and I also don’t want all of those dark emotional times to have been for no good reason. I get to put them to good use in this way. I really love this community and I am grateful to be apart of it.

Before I found VirPed, I had gotten through the worst of my depression, I had gotten past the thought that I was a monster, doomed to offend. The thing I wasn’t able to conquer was the loneliness, even in a crowd. The feeling of not belonging anywhere and the fact that nobody knew me. Thinking that there was no one else in the world who had these thoughts, these desires..these struggles. It was incredibly difficult.

That’s when I found VirPed. A place with likeminded people. Unique people, with different stories, still sharing that same experience; being minor-attracted. It is something so irreplaceable for me. Finally getting to talk about the part of me that I had hidden deep down for years, finally feeling understood. I felt a belonging that I had felt nowhere else. I wasn’t lonely anymore, I had friends who knew ME, the whole me. And now? I get to be the one welcoming a new person like I was welcomed. My experiences can be read by new people making them feel the same that I felt just a few years ago. And that is something incredible.

VirPed has saved lives. And it will continue to.

I tried not to even think about being minor attracted until near age 50. Whatever it was, it was a long phase I was going through, I thought. I figured I was unique. The internet changed everything. I found a discussion group and I went on a voyage of self discovery and was really thrilled to encounter others like me, who eventually, I was able to meet and it brought me out of my self protective shell. I had previously blocked out emotion. I even discovered I was capable of falling in love with a child. At no point did I ever consider that I could be a threat to children.

By the time I joined virped, I was comfortable with who I am and focused on helping others to accept themselves.

When I first realized the indisputable horror of being attracted to children when I was a teenager in the 90s, I was completely isolated. I had no one to talk to about any of this. The only place I was able to turn to was the internet, and the only internet communities available that really understood what I was going through were pro-contact communities. They were very helpful to me in regards to making me feel much better about this, but they also advocated for abhorrent things like banishing the age of consent laws. I had no where else to turn. Thanks to Virped, the young people that are discovering this today will truly have a healthy place to come to terms with this. I’m proud to be a part of this community.

I have found VirPed to be unbelievably helpful. I did not know there was a community of people like me who understood the painful contradiction of wanting nothing but the best for children while simultaneously having intense sexual attractions towards them. We can be so lonely and isolated, and that makes us vulnerable to compulsive behaviors including substance abuse and compulsive objectification. I thought I was the only one. VP reminds me I am just a soft mammal doing the best I can, that a virtuous life is available, and that we can assist each other in achieving it.

Before I joined VP, I was in a bad place - full of self hatred and ultimately tired of needing to keep up this visage that everything was ok around people I cared for. Shortly before I joined VP, I was contemplating suicide (it was looking quite attractive) so joining was my last ditch effort - I no longer cared if this place was a honey pot or whatever; I just wanted to take the mask….just for once. I’m glad I did; I can say VP saved my life - for the first time I knew I wasn’t alone….there were others that loved kids like I did but didn’t want to hurt them. And here I am now….4+ years in and feeling much better about myself.

I was 16 when it first truly dawned on me that I was a pedophile. I suddenly felt isolated, with nobody to talk to, and scared about what I might end up doing to a child and what my family and friends would think if they knew the truth. Around this time I discovered that VirPed existed, and by reading through the website and also any articles and blog posts I could find on the subject, I learned that I wasn’t alone, and reading about the experiences of those who shared my attractions felt like a weight off my shoulders. When I finally had the confidence to join VirPed, that lonely feeling shrinked even more until it disappeared completely, and being able to talk to people who knew what I was going through made me feel so much better, and now I have close friends who I can rely on for support.

If it wasn’t for VirPed, the loneliness would have continued and I may not even be alive today, but thanks to the community I don’t hate myself and I have a sense of belonging in the world. That’s how important the community is, it has saved many lives including mine. There’s something special and cathartic about connecting and sharing experiences with other pedophiles that can’t happen with anyone else, because you’re with people who truly understand you. That’s the kind of validation that keeps me going.

Being part of the online community as well as getting to meet others in person has helped me out tremendously. Before joining I thought had accepted my attraction but still battled how much I should focus on it and if it was healthy to do so. In doing this though I was at constant war with myself. Getting to talk with others like me has led to being able to fully accept myself attraction and all.

The first thing VirPed did for me was simply to make me aware there were other pedophiles like me, who accepted that children can’t meaningfully consent to sexual activity, and who are happy to remain law-abding, no ifs and no buts. I heard about VP via word of mouth. Simply knowing it was there helped me decide not to kill myself. It still took me several months to decide it was safe to join.

The second thing it did for me was provide people I could compare my experience with and talk openly about being a pedophile. Because it was VirPed as opposed to some darker corner of the internet, I finally felt secure I wasn\t going to get pressured into changing my views or into doing illegal things. Finally, pedophiles I trusted! :D

The third thing it did for me was give me the chance to finally meet people like me in person, and go through the surprise and adventure of seeing how diverse we all are. I now have friends I really trust, where before I never wanted to get too close to anyone.

The fourth thing it does for me, through things like Ask the VirPed panel, is it gives me a chance to help other people who are lonely as I was for many years. It’s hard to think of anything else I’ve ever done that really justifies my existence. At this dangerous moment in history, it’s one of the most important things any pedophile can do with their time.

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