Unlike other people, pedophiles naturally experience some positive feelings about the idea of adult-child sex. We don’t have other people’s inbuilt revulsion toward the idea. That means we have to make our own moral judgment, staying aware of biases.
Pedophiles often realize that:
- society’s disgust for pedophilia and pedophiles is not a good basis for moral decisions
- pedophiles’ enthusiasm for ideas of adult-child sex is also not a good basis for moral decisions
If you are wondering how we came to the conclusion that adult-child sex and exploitation is wrong, even while we reject stigma against pedophiles, here are our main reasons.
We know from many accounts that children can be physically and mentally harmed through sexual contact with adults. This can leave a child with trauma that they may never get rid of. You can’t justify risking doing this to a child.
It can take many years for a victim to be able to talk about being sexually abused when they were young. This time is often filled with shame, depression and suicidal thoughts. You can’t justify risking doing this to a young person.
Some pedophiles have the false idea that children in some ways need sexual contact with adults. There is no research backing this up. Children do need to be taught about sex, but not by sexual activity with any adults.
Healthy conversations about sex and sexuality at the right time are completely different in nature to sexual contact with an adult. Sexual exploration between same-age peers can also be part of normal development and, again, is different to sexual contact with an adult.
Pedophiles should usually avoid discussing sexuality with children because they can easily let their attractions influence how they approach the subject.
A contact offense against a child is detrimental for the child; it will also hurt you. You might face:
- Many years in prison
- Large amounts of debt
- Being cut off by family and friends
- Mental health effects for your family and friends
- Potential abuse and harassment of yourself, your family and friends
- Trouble getting work
Many people who have been convicted of a contact offense can confirm that rebuilding a life after a prison sentence is incredibly difficult.
Even if no charges are brought, public knowledge of sexual activity with a child can lead to ostracism and inability to get work.
Pedophiles can be objective about our own motivations and desires, and we can make sensible judgements.
This doesn’t mean we must hate ourselves or accept the unfair hatred of others.
It does mean reflecting carefully on the difference between our desires and our values—and always putting children’s welfare first.