My Parent Told Me They're a Non-Offending Pedophile

  • Home /
  • My parent told me they're a non-offending pedophile

Your parent has told you their deepest, most well-hidden secret. They have also assured you they have not abused a child.

We understand that this is not a conversation most people expect. We also understand there is no typical or expected way to react.

Your parent has most likely told you for one or more of these reasons:

  • They love you and want you to know who they really are.
  • They feel you have a right to know.
  • They want to explain why certain things have turned out the way they have.
  • They might be worried about the effect their attractions may have had in the background.
  • You asked them, or they perceived that you were curious about this part of them.

They may have told you:

  • They never had any trouble dealing with this as you were growing up.
  • They had some worries during your childhood about whether they were a suitable parent.
  • They intentionally had to leave some parts of parenting for someone else due to worry of being attracted or doing something wrong.

The news is bound to be significant for you. Some reactions might be:

  • You are glad they felt they could share it with you, or angry that they did.
  • You need time to process this.
  • You didn’t want to know about your parent’s private sexual thoughts.
  • It confirmed something you suspected, but didn’t feel able to ask about.
  • You still want them in your life, but realize this could change things.
  • You want to cut them out of your life.
  • You grow anxious and start to second guess your childhood whether things have happened that you’ve never realized.

You may also want someone else’s perspective, but aren’t sure who to ask. This is understandable, but you might want to check first who your parent thinks it is safe to discuss this with. 

If you prefer to discuss with a stranger, we will answer emails sent to [email protected] and could offer you membership of Forum for Friends and Family . If you prefer to get a perspective from an informed non-pedophile, you could contact asapinternational.org to help connect you with a therapist.

Once you have taken time to think, you may find you are ready for an additional conversation. Talking with them openly is a good idea. They have introduced the topic because they are ready for the conversation, and that means as your parent they should be open to your reasonable questions.

If they are a part of a support community for pedophiles or attend a therapy program for pedophiles, then you should understand that your parent is trying to find acceptance for themselves and come to terms with their attraction. If they have been there for a longer period of time they may already be at a place of acceptance and are helping others in the same position as them. Loneliness often comes with having this attraction and having places to talk about it is important. 

If you are not even sure where to start, you can understand more about the experiences of other non-offending pedophiles on our life experiences page.



Firstly, thank you for coming to this website to find out more. Whether this news has made you panic or made you thoughtful, we can hopefully give you some perspective on the secret you now know.

Find out more


Our forum is a peer-support community. We help pedophiles anonymously and honestly discuss their experiences and feelings. We don’t allow image sharing, justification of adult-child sexual contact or encouragement of illegal behavior. Moderators enforce these rules. All posts are written in English.

Find out more


When people contact Virtuous Pedophiles, the message they write comes to us. The people we hear from most are other virtuous pedophiles. Here are some of the initial messages we have received. Reading them will give a flavor of our diversity, the themes that come up over and over again, and a hint at how many of us there are.

Read about the life experiences of virtuous pedophiles


Our panel of VirPed forum members spent 2024 answering questions about pedophlia-related issues based on their life experiences and answered questions from the curious.

Read our answers