There are many virtuous pedophiles in the world. You probably know a few in your regular life. Because we mostly don’t tell anyone we are pedophiles, it’s difficult for people to ask us the questions they are curious about.
In the past we have tried to explain our situation via social media, but gradually social prejudice and mass reporting have made it impossible for regular members of the public to find us this way.
Our panel of VirPed forum members have all written on social media sites in the past about their life experiences and answered questions from the curious. If you ask a question here we will pass it on to them and share their answers on this page.
We delete abusive or gotcha questions, and we can’t answer all of the questions we receive. We also can’t tell you whether you, personally, are a pedophile or not, and we don’t take other reassurance-seeking questions about pOCD from sufferers. For that, see our pOCD page instead.
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Questions we’re currently answering
What is the most awkward conversation you’ve had with people who didn’t know your condition?
from “morbidlyfound”; answers coming on 28 October 2024
How much progress do you feel you’re making? Is the idea of a virtuous pedophile becoming more mainstream? Even just the idea that pedophilia is not the end-all, be-all of evils? Are there more spaces where your secret is safe/socially survivable?
from “Maisy Flowers”; answers coming on 4 November 2024
Questions with answers
For those of you (specifically non-exclusive) who are in a relationship with an adult and your partner knows about your attraction to kids, what was the process of telling them like? Did it take them a while to come around to the idea? Has it negatively affected your relationship?
from “Curious asker”; answers published on 21 October 2024
Answering selected hate mail (a not-to-be-repeated exercise)
Answers published on 14 October 2024
What are your thoughts on some people wanting to include MAPs in the LGBTQ community?
from “Oli”; answers coming on 07 October 2024
Have you ever had a crush or even fell in love with a child? How did that even occur considering how lacking children are in charisma?
from “Scaling Enthusiast”; answers published on 30 September 2024
What is the benefit of exploring this attraction if one can’t act on it?
from “Virtual CoSA”; answers published on 23 September 2024
Are there any coherent deontological arguments supporting masturbatory aids for pedophiles like erotica, roleplay, etc.? I’ve only ever seen utilitarian arguments such as: it’s fictional so no harm is done, pedophiles would be mentally worse off without it, this reduces the chance to offend, etc. (I agree with the utilitarian arguments so I’m trying to expand my knowledge.)
from “Scaling Enthusiast”; answers published on 16 September 2024
For exclusive pedophiles, how do you deal with it? I know people with incredibly unusual or taboo paraphilias and most couldn’t resist acting upon it in reality in some way, shape or form. Considering this is pedophilia we’re talking about, I can’t think of any safe hands-on avenues for venting.
from “Scaling Enthusiast”; answers published on 09 September 2024
For pedophiles who discovered or accepted their pedophilia later in life, why do you think that is? Was it due to a conscious suppression or other reasons?
from “Grace”; answers published on 02 September 2024
How do you feel about pedophiles who commit offenses?
from “Anonymous”; answers published on 26 August 2024
Is there a particular kind of person who deals with it well if you come out them? Are people from minorities better because they know what it’s like to experience prejudice? Are religious people more forgiving? Do smart people deal with it better than not-so-smart people?
from “Pevensie”; answers published on 19 August 2024
For those who are exclusive, have you ever forced yourself to intimately (romantically or sexually) engage in an adult relationship? What was the experience like for you?
from “Scaling Enthusiast”; answers published on 11 August 2024
Are you more intensely attracted/more prone to fantasizing than the average person, when they see people they’re attracted to out and about?
from “Anonymous”; answers published on 4 August 2024
Have you ever accessed the Stop It Now! helpline or used the online modules? If so, what do you think of the service? Have any of you found the modules helpful? Are there any other services that you would recommend?
from “Alice”; answers published on 28 July 2024
What positive(s) is there in your underaged attraction for you?
from “12MillionSandGrains”; answers published on 21 July 2024
Are pedophiles’ sexual desires really as uncontrollable as media and stereotypes depict? How intense is your sexuality really? How would you rate it on a scale of 1-10?
from “Scaling Enthusiast”; answers published on 14 July 2024
Do you believe that the proportion of non-offending paedophiles would be greater if we had a greater social acceptance of paedophilia as involuntary and distinct from child sexual abuse? Would that acceptance make it easier for you to manage your own paedophilia? To what extent do you think that stigma reinforces sexual abuse?
from “Stigma Researcher”; answers published on 07 July 2024
What definitively made you aware that your pedophilia was pedophilia and not POCD or something else? If you have experienced denial, what made you realise it?
from “Grace”; answers published on 30 June 2024
Do you think that there is a trauma in your life that might be connected with your condition? if not, when and how do you think it started?
from “Jay”; answers published on 23 June 2024
Do you have any other stigmatized paraphilia/kink (i.e. attraction to animals, BDSM)? If so, how have they/do they interact, and do you think having those other interests and/or participating in community with others of those interests has helped or harmed you in your journey with your pedophilia?
from “Chanel”; answers published on 16 June 2024
Opinion on AAM(Adult-Attracted Minor)?
from “y”; answers published on 09 June 2024
Is it illegal, anywhere in the world, to be a non offending and non violent pedophile?
from “Wai me”; answers published on 02 June 2024
Do you believe that forums that are pro-contact normalize paedophilia in a way that could make someone more likely to act on their attraction? Or is acting on fantasies something that most MAP would never consider, regardless of normalization?
from “Mira”; answers published on 26 May 2024
What do you think of “barely legal” pornography content? Do you see it as a legal way to fulfill a fantasy that people would never act on in real life or a slippery slope to most people? Do you think that it should be legal and easily accessible as it currently is online?
from “Mira”; answers published on 12 May 2024
Are you around kids that you’re attracted to? Do you think it’s ok for you to be around kids that you fantasize about? I ask this in a non-judgemental way, so let me explain with an exemple: I am a grown woman and I wouldn’t like to be around someone that fantasizes about me unless that person is my partner, even if I’m 100% certain that they won’t abuse me, and I suppose I’d be extra uncomfortable if I had no idea that a certain person is fantasizing about me and I found out later. How do you navigate those kinds of situations? Do you outright avoid minors that you’re attracted to?
from “Mira”; answers published on 05 May 2024
If our society, for whatever reasons, changed over time into accepting adult-child sexual and romantic relationships, would you still be opposed to sexual contact with children? I guess what I’m asking is: where does your [virtue] come from? Fear of judgement and punishment? Fear of hurting a kid for the rest of their lives?
from “Journalist”; answers published on 28 April 2024
What do you think about including information on MAPs in public school health classes? Do you think such teaching should start in middle or high school? How could you get information on therapy to these kids, confidentially?
from “Alison”; answers published on 21 April 2024
If you had the opportunity to receive therapy with no risks whatsoever, what qualities would make for the ideal therapist? Additionally, for those who already have a therapist or want one, what would your treatment goals be?
from “K”; answers published on 14 April 2024
If you were able to clear up one misconception about pedophilia, or any other form of attraction to minors, what would it be? Additionally, how has that misconception affected you?
from “K”; answers published on 07 April 2024
How do you guys feel about Chris Hansen’s show, as well as people who record encounters with people who they claim were having conversations with underage people? Do you support or oppose recording confrontations with people who try meeting up with minors?
from “Andrew Gross”; answers published on 31 March 2024
Why children? Why not people your age?
from “Pluh”; answers published on 24 March 2024
Given the massive stigma pedophilia has across all social media, and the reporting laws present in many countries, many pedophiles have to choose whether to risk outing themselves or attempting to cope on their own. While I understand there is no one-size-fits-all solution, what are some of the coping mechanisms that have worked for you? Can one approach this issue like one would approach an addiction (to, say, alcohol and nicotine)?
from “Brazillian sympathizer”; answers published on 17 March 2024
How many paedophiles struggle with suicidal ideation? Have any of you struggled with it? How great did these suicidal feelings become?
from “Leonard”; answers published on 10 March 2024
What are your opinions on POCD? Did you first think it was POCD if you were in denial about being a pedophile? What made you think it wasn’t POCD? Can someone have POCD and be a pedophile at the same time?
from “Mexican Girl”; answers published on 03 March 2024
How has being part of Virped or any other pedophile based support group helped you out, if at all?
from “Anonymous YouTuber”; answers published on 25 February 2024
Do pedophiles have children? What is that like? [If you don’t have children, do you want to have? Why/why not?]
from “Swedish podcaster”; answers published on 18 February 2024
Are you out to your families about it? If so, what is their reaction? [If not, why?]
from “Anonymous YouTuber”; answers published on 11 February 2024
[Regarding] fictional ‘child pornography’, in the form of writing or drawings/animation, where the subjects cannot be mistaken for real life people, that is to say - where no consent has been abused and no underaged person has been involved directly in the production of the media. How do you personally feel about the use of it? Can/does it act as an outlet that help compartmentalize and easy any possibly disturbing impulses to act out towards children or does it blur the moral lines too much for you?
from “Arto”; answers published on 4 February 2024
What should pedophilia be labeled as? Should we call it a sexual preference or mental disorder? Anything in between or something else entirely?
from “Swedish podcaster”; answers published on 28 January 2024
Do pedophiles have regular relationships?
from “Swedish podcaster”; answers published on 22 January 2024
Many adults with paedophilic orientation report experiencing sexual desire and emotional bonding towards children. Presumably, the sexual desire diminishes or vanishes once the child ages or undergoes puberty. My curiosity lies in the fate of the emotional bond in this context. How long does the emotional bonding endure after that? In non-paedophilic individuals, when lust is gone, one still observes a relatively consistent physical appearance in their love object, which helps in retaining the memories of erotic feelings. I suppose for paedophilic individuals, this experience might be different, as within a brief span, the minor transforms into someone markedly dissimilar and sometimes hardly recognizable, both physically and character-wise. What does that emotional journey look like?
from “Curious girl”; answers published on 15 January 2024
When did you decide to talk to someone? Who did you talk to?
from “Two Italian Journalists”; answers published on 8 January 2024
What was your initial reaction upon discovering that you were in fact attracted to minors? Did you simply accept it or was there some form of internal wrestling?
from “Anonymous YouTuber”; answers published 1 January 2024
Read 7 answers